Karsh Coldhart

malkavianxx @ 2008-12-09T03:21:00

2008-12-09T11:21:30Z

Wikipedia = Gutenburg

malkavianxx @ 2008-08-04T06:15:00

2008-08-04T13:17:21Z

expulsion to the third degree, and as you can see I'm taking this most seriously. debilitatingly serene with it's delivery and most unsincere in it's remedy; you knew it was coming eventually, didn't you? as you can deliver it sensually, so can who?

malkavianxx @ 2008-08-04T06:13:00

2008-08-04T13:15:00Z

Who where the last ones who heard through the loud guns - the ones that frought upon this desolate sea of humanity. I can no longer forsee any undoing, obscuring the reason why I ask who we where who heard the explosion

malkavianxx @ 2008-07-03T03:16:00

2008-07-03T10:19:11Z

Consider someone making this statement. "To be fair, they were pretty good."

Now consider someone making this statement "To be fair, they sucked."

Which one is more fair?

And which one would fox news choose?

But I really don't wanna talk about it.

I'm the kind of asshole who purposely un-capitalizes proper nouns for the sake of deriding people who are telling us what happened.

malkavianxx @ 2008-07-02T01:47:00

2008-07-02T08:47:59Z

Characters in my dreams have figured out how to lie to me about being in a dream... this is disturbing.

malkavianxx @ 2008-07-01T02:30:00

2008-07-01T09:31:01Z

My whole life is just a theory.

Funniest random thing to happen in a while

2008-06-21T00:35:44Z

A few days ago, after school was let out and Eugene is far more empty than it has been all year, we were sitting on a couch on my front lawn. All of a sudden, a homeless looking guy comes booking down the sidewalk on his bike, beaming with happiness. We all smiled back, and as he passed he yelled, "The new phone books are coming!!!"

My girl steph was quick to point out that he was like a crazy Paul Revere. This cracked me up.

malkavianxx @ 2008-05-19T15:43:00

2008-05-19T22:46:08Z

A girl is not your girlfriend until she's made you at least one mix tape! True or false?

malkavianxx @ 2008-05-05T22:13:00

2008-05-06T05:15:33Z

Let me ask you a question. There is this Jesus guy on campus, this old guy who rides a bike around with signs plastered all over. He stands by the amphitheater holding signs saying "Trust Jesus Now" etc... now, considering my current physical appearance as the stereotypical "white jesus", if I were to dress as Jesus and mock him, all the while being extremely careful never to acknowledge his presence or speak a single word to him, would that be evil?

malkavianxx @ 2008-05-05T21:02:00

2008-05-06T04:17:59Z

People have often asked me how I come up with random thoughts so easily. The easy explanation is that I have a "train of thought" that moves quickly from one subject to the next. But, after some meditation of this subject, I have come to the conclusion that I often come up with a lot of ideas that I never tell people about. And this is not a new thing. I know where it comes from.

You see, when I was a kid, I learned to adhere to a modified version of the old quote "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." This version is extremely different however. When I was a kid I thought that everyone was always picking on me. I was admittedly the class clown, who wasn't afraid to stand up to the 3rd grade teacher and suffer the consequences, but other humans young and old had convinced me that I was being laughed "at" and not "with". This -NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT- caused me to develop some kind of inferiority complex.

It's impossible to tell if this is really true now that my memories are so pale, but this is how I remember it. I developed a strict doctrine which I rarely (but increasingly as of late) break. This doctrine is, "If you are going to say something stupid, keep your mouth closed." And so often I find my thoughts going to places which are completely inappropriate for the situation.

That is how I come up with random thoughts so easily. Because I never stop thinking, regardless of the subject.'

p.s. (edit) I have never said this before but, sorry for ending a post so abruptly. I'm sure I have more thoughts on this but I have shit to do. there, is that good?

malkavianxx @ 2008-04-13T16:51:00

2008-04-13T23:53:34Z

I have a great idea for a music video. Its very typical but it would be for a song called "Grave Dirt" which starts very very slow and evil and gets faster and more intense as the piece goes on. A guy would be clawing his way out of a grave, you could see first his hands, then his arms, etc. Everyone would be dressed like zombies and slowly the entire graveyard would rise and basically do a sort of zombie parade. We would need to publicize it and/or offer free coffee and donuts to get enough people, but I think this would be fun. Anyone wanna help?

malkavianxx @ 2008-03-14T14:29:00

2008-03-14T21:58:52Z

You know I don't really like talking about myself that much, and that's why I don't really post here about what's going on in my life anymore. Also because you never know who is listening, and people are bound to take things in a way that I can't predict. But I guess it's been quite a while since I've seen a lot of my longtime friends and so you deserve to know what's going on with me...

I'm finishing winter term here at UO. I enjoyed my linguistics class the most, but music theory was cool to. If I work really hard I can graduate by spring 2009. After which, sky's the limit... I wrote an "art song" this term for music theory based on Edgar Allen Poe's poem "Alone". It's a really nice poem and it fit perfectly with the song project, so if you see me near a piano ask me if you'd like to hear it sometime. Or maybe I'll make a recording. In October I met a girl named Stephanie. She is really smart and funny, and fiendishly good looking. We really connected this winter because it was long and dark and we kept each other company.

One big part of my life lately is that I have been playing in a metal band in Eugene. We're called "Dire Wolf" but we're probably going to have to change our name if we want to get signed by a label because there is another black metal artist named "Dire Wolf" and we don't want to get sued. I was thinking of using the scientific name, Cainus Diris. It still sounds pretty cool and it keeps the meaning while allowing us to not get sued. What do you all think of that? Anyway we're playing a show here tomorrow night (Saturday the 15th) that is going to be taped and put on a local TV show about hard rock in Eugene. I also have been interviewed a couple of times about the band, and we've recieved nothing but positive comments after our shows. So we've been getting some good publicity. After the show we are going to start auditioning second guitar players, and I hope that we can get some crazy guy who can shred, but also knows what he is doing. My Stephanie and my roommate Russ have been doing some artwork for us and it all looks great, I can't wait to show people what they have done.

Heavy metal has been very important to me over the last couple of years, and I'll tell you why. When I was in Portland, working at Mt. Hood Meadows and driving 2 hours each way in the dark, alone, I started listening to a lot of Children of Bodom, Iron Maiden, etc. because it helped me deal with that stress (driving 4 hours a day through winter storms for a minimum wage job + tips is stupidly stressful). And I started to realize that I hadn't been playing much music since I had dropped out of school, so I started to practice my keyboard more and I actually learned some new things. So basically, Heavy Metal is the reason why I decided to go back to music school, because I had once again found a reason to improve myself. I didn't want to be some random waiter anymore. I wanted to be like those guys in Bodom, who are amazing musicians but unpretentious in their attitude. Now that I'm back in school, I've been picking up a lot of useful classical knowledge, and almost everything I've learned in music theory can be applied to my band. Since then my metal compositions have taken a very symphonic, black/doom metal twist.

A lot of people take music too literally, like you have to mean what you say 100% of the time. For me, playing dark, heavy music is important because you are creating a feeling that is very powerful and in some people very surpressed. That's what my music is all about. It's about awakening people's inner demons, and creating a feeling of total despair. When it's all over, you feel cleansed by the power. It's like the wonderful 2-3 minutes directly after sex. There is all this tension, and then a release and a return to reality. And in the end your ears are ringing and your neck is sore from headbanging, and you feel great. So despite the fact that our songs may seem to have an aggressive, antisocial, or depressing lyrical theme, I think it is actually very uplifting to confront these subjects head on.

I've been playing a pretty good amount of Counterstrike, and (as I enjoy turning recreational pursuits into creative pursuits) I have been learning to make maps in CS and Half life 2. I have been sort of toying with my dream of making a fantasy MMO. So far my maps have mostly just been outdoor settings, like old school ones in Everquest 1. Just for me to run around in really. But soon I'll be releasing some multiplayer maps, and maybe I could start a CS RPG server or even make a mod/total conversion. That would be awesome, and another excuse for me to write music as well.

I can't really think of anything else right now but I am on spring break in a week, so give me a call buddies!

~JON

malkavianxx @ 2008-03-05T01:20:00

2008-03-05T09:28:40Z

If I am enlightened
I will never find reward
Enlightenment is judged upon action and consequence

And now I think I understand
How the world is organizing
If a nudge in the right direction is all it takes
Why not take a leap of faith?

Why not write a song of sorrow
Why not show the ugly truth
Life's own suffering
Is eternal as eternity itself

malkavianxx @ 2008-02-19T04:30:00

2008-02-19T12:31:18Z

Furthermore,

society is too busy remembering what it already knows to make any progress.

malkavianxx @ 2008-02-19T04:23:00

2008-02-19T12:25:06Z

Silent still air is my canvas
Sound is my brush stroke
Tone is my color

malkavianxx @ 2008-02-14T02:52:00

2008-02-14T10:54:07Z

I died in the spring of '05. So that makes me 2 1/2 years dead.

someone give me this kids phone number, I need a new drummer

2007-11-30T22:09:54Z

wow...

MONKEY ATTACK!!?

2007-10-30T04:06:00Z

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/7055625.stm

malkavianxx @ 2007-10-25T11:11:00

2007-10-25T18:11:50Z

Also I should mention that my band now has a name: DIRE WOLF

and if there's another band called dire wolf, fuck em.

malkavianxx @ 2007-10-25T09:39:00

2007-10-25T16:39:40Z

I finally figured out why I like heavy metal so much. It makes everything else seem a lot quieter. Which is nice.

malkavianxx @ 2007-10-19T00:46:00

2007-10-19T07:50:23Z

Don't lecture me on tonal music! I know all about tonal music, and it all comes down to 6 intervals. m2, M2, m3, M3, P4, and tri-tone. Everything else is just an inversion of one of the before stated chords. So you say a lot of music sounds the same. It is the same! The only difference is the human equation, the artist, the performer. Anyone could have written any song ever. It's the intangibles of any piece of art that make it special, and more importantly, the way the artist lived their life.

dreams...

2007-10-15T01:23:46Z

So the night before last I had a dream that I was a beautiful woman. Then I cut off my head, grew a new one, and set my severed head down on a chair. I was in some rich guy's house. I started stealing all his shit, but meanwhile, I noticed that my severed head's eyes were starting to follow me around the room. I went up to it and looked at it, and it started talking to me. Telling me to "wake up". And then I woke up.

Then there was one last night where I was floating on a wooden raft off a crowded beach. I slowly drifted north to a less densely crowded beach, where everything wasn't in cartoon colors, and all of a sudden there were huge thunderclaps coming from the sea. The waves started to wash up and I was in the middle of a tsunami. To try to hide, I found some house and broke a bunch of windows but all that was inside was a huge nursery. then I woke up.

good to know? heh

malkavianxx @ 2007-10-10T17:19:00

2007-10-11T00:20:08Z

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO PICK A BAND NAME THAT ISN'T ALREADY ON MYSPACE? IVE TRIED EVERYTHING!!! FUCKING GIVE ME A BREAK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Waking up

2007-10-09T17:42:39Z

A single touch sets me alive
Her pain, her joy, her fear, her hope become mine
I turn to her, overcome with sensation.

"Wake up" She says

No, no, not this time. I concentrate.
If I can't have this, I won't let go.
Can this moment last forever?

"Wake up" She says

Please don't leave
I'll see her in the morning
But in the morning she won't love me
In the morning, the black morning, I will see the real her
Her memory lingering, slowly dying off

"Wake up" She says

I clutch my pillow
I won't let go
I refuse
I won't forget her
I can't
I won't
Wake up.

Smoking Monkey

2007-10-08T08:43:22Z